I knew I’d been gone for awhile, with only the weekly Twitter roundups as placeholders and no original content at all, but almost four months? Yowsa. I think I beat my previous “Ordinary Goddess” record by a month (though I was internet persona absentis for about eighteen months in from 2001 to 2003, when I switched from my online journal “Fleeting Imprints” to my Blogspot incarnation “All the Fun of the Fair”).
Anywho, things have been happening around Casa de Carol. Keeping myself relatively healthy, both in body and mind. Started taking Prozac in February, because my life was stalled due to a low-level depression that I just couldn’t kick-start myself out of, as well as an underlying constant anxiety that made me more than a little miserable and insecure, which didn’t help in the relationship department. This, combined with seeing a therapist whom I liked and felt comfortable with instantly, has made some difference. It’s still a bit of a struggle, but far less than it was previously. I’ll be starting a class-type thing next week – recommended by my therapist – which is supposed to help in handling depression and anxiety.
Oh, don’t worry about the previous mention of relationship issues. CuteFilmNerd and I are still very much together, having celebrated our second anniversary in March. It’s been tough for both of us, due to my depression/jealousy/insecurity and the issues that he has (which I will not write about here, as his life is not for public consumption unless he chooses to make it so), but we’re both stubborn people who love each other very much because of our many positive traits and are pretty determined to make this thing work, so we’ve got that going for us.
I will admit that a major issue that he had with me was taken care of in April, when I bought myself an early (and rather expensive) birthday present:
Yep, a new (to me) car – 2007 Suzuki Forenza. After nearly seven carless years, I’m finally experiencing flexible mobility. I have to admit, it’s pretty nice. Needless to say, right now I’m doing the majority of the driving when CuteFilmNerd and I go places. After over two years of hauling me around, it’s only fair. And yes, he seems to be enjoying my chauffeuring duties quite a bit, which I totally get. There were times in my previous car-owning life where I was the primary driver for a carless friend for a number of years that I would’ve liked to occasionally be in the passenger seat. Until she got her own car and proved to be a scary driver, that is.
It’s a good thing I started the Prozac in February, as driving was one of my anxiety triggers, especially at night. Now I’m rarely anxious when driving, which is a huge thing for me.
In addition, Matisse has been doing very well on his current prescription food and revised insulin dosage, full of energy and hardly seeming to be a fifteen year old cat. Edison and B.J. are also doing very well.
I’ve had a yen for cleaning and organizing too. Still more to do, but three of the four main areas of the apartment have seen marked improvements since April and have remained fairly neat and clean. Yay! Now I have to bust my ass on my bedroom and bathroom again, but having several spaces that feel comfortable (including the alcove I am currently typing in) is fantastic. I’m damned well going to keep it up.
Since taming the kitchen I’ve felt like cooking more often, which has given my creativity a new outlet (which is of the good, since my writing creativity has gone the way of the dodo). I’ve discovered that I make a mean vegan shepherd’s pie and that my vegan chocolate cupcakes with peanut butter frosting are most yummy. Also? I can build a damned good vegan reuben.
So that’s the last few months in Le Vie du Carol. I have no idea how long I’ll be writing, or if I’ll write here on a regular basis. I may just opt to post writing exercises meant to tone up those muscles again. If so, I’ll post those in the Writing section of the site and mention them here.
Still, it’s good to see y’all again, even if it is only for a moment.